look back

"i must keep reminding myself of this.."



I don't feel salty,
but I'm lookin' back.
I've spotted an interesting trend;
repetition.
I needed to remind myself
why school was not the place for me

Like tripping
you have this mega-trip
that opens your eyes
and you see through the lies
you feel energized
like a thousand goodbyes

and you know you'll never doubt
because you know what it's about
you'll never be unkind
because you opened up your mind

But then it's gone
Not right away of course
But in time, you start to wonder

was that for real
or just a dream

it fades further
was it all in my head?
IS it all in my head?
what was it i said

so you go
because you've got to know
this mystery
clues left behind
point to a revelation
fleeting as it was

what once before
left you so full and alive
so sure of goodness
and a will to survive

brings fear and pain
and it drives you insane
and if you let it all out
you'll fill up with doubt

so you sink or you swim
brighten up or go dim
either way you don't know
how deep the rabbit hole goes.