path-etic

What path am I on?
Am i even moving?
Am i at the crossroads, or am i at the end of the road...

I am what i am
what more could i be,
i react to what i think,
what i feel what i see.

I try to offer kind words,
but they scrape on my tongue,
i try to catch my breath,
but i've got the black lung.

I am painfully honest,
I am doubtful and meek,
i feel bad for persuing,
the things that i seek.

guilty by conscience,
innocent by deed.
monkey by nature,
at least i can read.

killing me slowly,
with sweet blissful ease.
my favourite hobby,
is my dark disease.