philoso-fee

I'm up for work, but work won't work. I'm still on the clock so I hope it lasts. Getting paid to read and write is fine by me.


I'm in my productive and social head space. Polite and professional. No swearing of course, well, maybe between calls. That's right, I make calls for a living. No sales, but unsolicited calls.


"I'm on a Do Not Call list," "What you don't know who you're calling? " "I said I'm not interested!" "Why do you need to know that?" "How'd you get my number?" "I don't live here and that's the wrong number, but take me off your list" "I never listen to the radio!" et cetera


Who can blame me for enjoying a little quiet time on the company dime?


Should I put in my hours to try and have more money for leisure time? But, I'd have less leisure time if I worked more, so would I need more money? I'm always concerned that if I have more money than I need, I'll end up getting drunk a lot. It just seems to happen. Well, that 20$ is burning a hole in my pocket, I better get rid of it. Who will take this money, let's see, I bet the liquor store will! Next day, Ugh, I feel like shit, I made a mess, and smoked more weed and cigarettes than I should have, setting me back financially. Undoing the 'getting ahead' I had tried for.


So I work part-time, pay down my loan, have smokes and get stoned. By books and video games now and then. Drink on occasion. Not getting ahead really, but not falling behind. Am I coasting? Afraid to crash? With my record, is it any wonder? Word to the wise; don't take benzos behind the wheel. What am I waiting for? A death and inheritance? That's cold. An opportunity to present itself? That's lazy or childish or something. Just wait, and the universe will open itself to you. I don't know about that.


What do I even want? Besides autonomy and independence. Not freedom from the laws of the land, but freedom from financial dependence. I want a place of my own with some space of my own. I want to be able to try things and document and record results. I want a lab or workshop.


I don't even know what I'll produce. Will it be studies on the active metabolites of research chemicals, thus far unknown to science? Will it be science fiction, writing that shapes the future of thought? Will it be political commentary, and reflections on life? Or will I carve clocks out of wood and sell them to overly rich folks to sustain myself? Will I write songs and sell them to artists, like a studio musician or ghost writer? Will I grow primo dope, or brew some skunk beer or green dragon. Will I become a world renowned psychonaut, mapping the multiverse for future travellers? Will I sell the best space cakes Amsterdam has ever seen? Will I find a way to mechanically separate the pieces of dried marijuana for ease of consumption?


Will I live a tragedy, getting my shit together just in time for my own funeral?


Reading my own writing, I notice my temporal concerns seem not to involve the need for genetic continuity. Namely, I never mentioned a wife and kids. Like that is secondary to my own 'research'. Is that because I'm not worried about genetic continuity, and I assume I'll have no trouble in that respect? Or because I assume it's a fruitless endeavour, serving only to distract me from my greater goals. Perhaps both are true, like, if I were to suddenly isolate myself and go into deep study, that could be quite distressing to any partner I had at the time. Once I was/am established(assuming such a thing should ever come to pass), it would be much more reasonable to tolerate my seclusion if I had already successfully produced saleable materials in such a manner.


Maybe it's even more simple than that; write what you know. But I'm all over the board with this post, and I don't know any of it. All thoughts and speculation. Except for the paid to do it being good part, that I know. I should be a professional philosopher. It'd be nice to pull a Socrates and get some understudy to write down all my musings for me. Lazy fuck, now we all have to read Plato's Republic. Who am I kidding, philosophy is awesome. Even two-thousand years ago, we were trying to fix society's problems. Dangerous work, picking apart reality, looking for truth. Certainly not for the faint of heart.



So many interesting topics to cover in one lifetime. Let alone to build off of. A lot of background work to familiarize myself with before I try to innovate. Paralyzing the amount of knowledge I yet lack. Impossible to contain it all. Choose topics of interest, and topics of value. Not topics of popularity or topics of convenience. "Think for yourself, question authority" Tim Leary, isn't he an authority now? I question that. Question authority, and if it answers are to your satisfaction, accept it. Like gravity. I didn't write Newton's Laws, Or Einstein's, but I read them. I questioned them, and found them to be at least a workable system for understanding physics and reality. Now, as we approach faster than light travel, we'll have to see how the laws of relativity hold up under extreme conditions. Is that what Tim Leary meant? Accept the groundwork authority, but don't buy into bad science, or bad extrapolations. Correlation does not equal causation. The history of science is filled with blunders. It's how a lot of really interesting anomalies were discovered. You get a result from an experiment that is greatly different from what you anticipated. Now the task is to find out why? Contamination, poor materials either due to crooked distributors or careless lab work, miscalculation, or something else. A flaw in our understanding of the principles involved in the experiment. Maybe, the math is good, but there's an unknown force involved confounding the researcher. To identify, name, and describe such forces, is to tame the unknown.



But alas, I must work now. For the technical difficulties have been eliminated.
\m/