understanding

In a world of shit,
this can't be it.
I remember fun,
and the light of the sun.

Too long i have wallowed in my indecision.
Waiting for something, a sign or a vision.
Have I known all along, what i'm to be.
A clown on a stick, for all to see.

No wonder i stall, and try to delay.
Try not to think, try not to say,
The jester's no fool, for he understands.
Though some may lead, no one commands.

Monkey see, monkey do,
make 'em laugh, and you'll laugh too.
The true humour is just, for you to see,
they don't understand, or is that me....

Am i apart, or am I a part.
Is anything real, don't even start.
There is no true answer, there is no false.
Just have to assume, 'cuz you've got a pulse.