I've been feeling pretty happy lately. Michelle and I had a bit of a rough patch, we talked it through though. It was a little scary, but we're like better than ever now. As long as I can keep for acting too retarded, we should stay that way.

It's not like we had a big fight or anything, just I had some stuff on my mind, foolish stuff mostly, and Michelle seemed to be quite distant. Really though, she was tired, and we were both sick, and not eating well, just a bunch of little stuff piling up. We told each other how we felt, that we were a little worried that we had offended each other in some way, and that we might each lose the other, so, being that we're both pretty paranoid, we tried to not say or do too much I guess. Less said, less chance something wrong is said. Makes sense, but that doesn't make it fun.

So we're back to being relaxed and joking with each other. It's nass to make her laugh a bunch, it makes me feel like, I don't know, useful or something? Productive? That sounds a little cold.

Hey look at me, I'm not a robot after all! And to think, I used to almost take pride in my lack of emotion. Now, I'm emoting like a madman, and I must say, even though at times it can be quite intense, it is a worthwhile experience. I say "I love you" ten times a day, I take her hand almost every time she is beside me, I ask for hugs and kisses and bum touches all the time too. I start to get a little whiny when I don't get them even. Also; not so dead inside. Almost always a good thing. ;)

Please note; by emoting, I do not mean to affiliate myself with the 'emo' movement, or whatever it is if it isn't a movement. A cultural phenomenon maybe? A trend? Anyway, no crying for me, just headaches and stomach maladies, and a particularly painful form of vasocongestion. Alright, so I'm ranting a bit now, but it's sort of enjoyable, so I'll just sort of keep writing, and see what comes up.

I've been almost goofy since we straightened things out, maybe even a little before then. Has it been since we got our pot? Maybe a little before that even. Was it getting paid that eased my mind? Hard to say. Anyway, I've been almost like a stoner stereotype or something, just grinning dumbly and laughing a lot and joking around. Mayhap, I've shifted my overall mood to the positive.

As I recall reading, we all are basically bipolar, it's just a matter of degrees. What I mean by overall mood-shift, is moving from the generally negative to generally positive mood. Just how positive or negative a mood you are in is what separates 'regular' people from those with a bipolar mood disorder, formerly known as manic depression.

So I guess, in somewhat more familiar terms, I may have shifted from a generally depressive to a generally manic state-of-mind. Manic as in mania, and maniacal. 8>

Fun fun!

Actually, more accurate for me would be a shift from generally being anxious, to generally being easily excited and distractable. Almost like a light stimulant high, or even a tiny bit of mdma. I feel all talkative and energetic. I lost track of my nail clipper at some point, usually I'm quite good at remembering where I put things and that sort of thing. Thing, thing thing...

Also, I've been parroting things, like that just now. I'll hear things and repeat them right back, sometimes without even noticing myself. I might be a bit annoying to be around as of late, but I back off when asked, at least for a minute or two. Then I forget what I was doing and my hands instinctively do what they do and touch whatever is around me, which may or may not be annoying, depending on one's tastes at any given moment.

I've got some things I should do after work. Go de-pawn my guitar, pick up m'lady's prescription, maybe do some groceries. We would both enjoy a new DVD box set I believe, perhaps we will look into that later. I wouldn't mind getting some beer as well. I am again, outer monologue, just thinking 'aloud'. Gee, all this blogging sure passes the time, almost 6, when I can take another break and be left with less than two hours when I come back. I like to try and end my shift with a period of less than two hours of work, so I wait as late as I can to take my break. Well, maybe not as late as I can, sometimes my shift ends early, and if I haven't taken my paid break by then, I won't get it. Bullshit anyway. Why can't I tack a break on the end if I am owed it based on the length of my shift? We even had an incentive where you could leave one shift a half hour early paid, basically what I would be doing if I tack a break on the end. But anyway, that doesn't really matter much.

Getting hungry now. Should I try and eat on my break? It's only 15 minutes, that doesn't give me much time. Especially if I want to make a coffee and smoke some yetis and use the bathroom. Maybe I'll just eat after work then. Off tomorrow, that will be nice. Working six in a row after that, so, better enjoy it.

I guess it'll be 6:15-6:30 for my break now. I'll have even less times when I come back now.

***
6:32, back from my break. I've got quite a list of 'Do Not Calls' to add to my timesheet, so I best get started on that. Thanks for your time, have a good one. May random find you well.
\m/