So, guess what, I'm gonna be a parent. (Part 2; )

Well,
Things are moving along quite quickly now. Since I last posted, we heard the heartbeat of our unborn child, which was pretty cool. Healthy, 160 bpm, which is normal for a fetus. Michelle was a little stressed and even had the idea that maybe she wasn't pregnant at all, but had an ovarian tumor that made her miss her period. I pointed out there was much more going on than just the lack of menstruation. So yeah, she knew herself it was a pretty silly concern, but it was still there, nonetheless.

Last weekend I bought a car. It was my first car purchase. I'm twenty five years old, so, I'm a little late in getting around to buying a car. But, I got a pretty good deal, talked the guy down eight hundred bucks, always fun. The registration was cheaper to switch than I thought too, another bonus. Then I smoked a joint with the guy that sold me the car before I dropped him off. He was quite happy about that.

So, we drove to Bathurst this weekend to try it out. The cd player broke the first day, of course, but now I have an excuse to go buy a new fancy one! With a USB input as well as aux, so we can plug in the ipod, or even just a thumbstick. Maybe some speakers too, but I'll see how the new stereo sounds first.

We did our income tax this week too, and it looks like I should be getting a pretty penny. I hope to be able to buy a new computer, as my current laptop is over four years old, and kind of on its last leg. Don't get me wrong, it works fine and all, but it's processor and hard drive and even lack of dvd-burner are becoming annoying. You know, constantly deleting things so you can download new things, and not being able to watch something on one screen and surf the web in the other is a little bit of a hassle. Not to mention the mysterious overheat shutdowns.

I finished my first Math course of the Pharmacy Tech program today. I had a 101% average going in, I hope to maintain that if possible. But, I guess it's no biggie if I end up with a two digit average instead of three. I'm such a nerd. Also at school, we're doing a major review in Medical Science, as we our doing our midterm soon, and our second lab practical exam is tomorrow. March break is next week, so, we're kind of wrapping things up and moving things along to make sure we stay on pace.

The week that we come back after March break, the national pharmacy people are coming to the school to make sure we comply with all the requirements in order to be accredited, so after we finish our course, we just write the national exam to receive "Pharmacy Technician" certification. The teacher needed some volunteers to be in the lab just as a demonstration and to answer questions afterwards. I volunteered, because hey, it's certainly in my best interest for the course to be accredited. Also I'm a fairly knowledgeable member of the class, so, (not to toot my own horn) I would be a good representative for the class. Not the only one, but one of the better ones.

8)

And lastly, I come to my latest news. I recently ordered a research chemical, one that is very similar to ritalin, but more potent. I had thought about this for a few years, but only recently got a credit card, making it much easier to order. I may look at making that into a solution or packing some gelcaps, but it apparently is fairly unstable, so I guess I'll have to do some reading. I hope I don't run into any legal problems with this. I shouldn't as it is an unregulated substance. For now anyway.

Oh! I almost forgot! We made up a batch of pot brownies! With chocolate chips on top, mmmMMMmm, yummy! About one gram per brownie, not as good as the time my neighbour made them with hash, but still pretty excellent. The really do taste good too, like you kinda want to keep eating them, even though you shouldn't.

But yeah, having a car has been a big help for us. We can go do groceries without needing cabs, we can go through the drivethru at fast-food places, and of course, we can drive around, smoke, drink coffee, and listen to music. We got a four door, we're planning ahead. Got a car with decently low mileage as well, want it to last us a bit. Been fun driving to school, no more up at 6am to catch the bus at 7:15.

We've been shopping around for apartments too, as our current dwelling is a little ghetto, and we would prefer ground floor as well, Michelle being pregnant and already having a bad knee, we don't imagine stairs will be much fun this summer when she's about ready to pop.

Michelle has come around quite a bit. She doesn't seem scared, more excited. She's looking at all kinds of decorations and toys and furniture and blankets for babies, it's quite overwhelming really. But I'm just glad she's in better spirits.

She told the doctor she was pretty depressed, and she was prescribed a low dose of a SSRI anti-depressant. I guess it's working, but some of the side effects sort of suck. A lot. Like, for instance, reduced libido. I dunno, I assume it's the pills, because I stopped drinking like two weeks ago, and the sex kinda dried up around the same time. I'm a little concerned that there might be a connection there, but I'm doubtful. Also she's been sleeping like crazy, but that wouldn't bother me as much if she wanted to have sex when she was awake. Even a handjob would be nice.

Ok, perhaps I reveal too much now. But basically, all is well. I'm just a little whiner. We've got lots on the go, and the future is bright. I hope all is well with everyone else out there in the digiverse. May random find you well. \m/

I've been feeling pretty happy lately. Michelle and I had a bit of a rough patch, we talked it through though. It was a little scary, but we're like better than ever now. As long as I can keep for acting too retarded, we should stay that way.

It's not like we had a big fight or anything, just I had some stuff on my mind, foolish stuff mostly, and Michelle seemed to be quite distant. Really though, she was tired, and we were both sick, and not eating well, just a bunch of little stuff piling up. We told each other how we felt, that we were a little worried that we had offended each other in some way, and that we might each lose the other, so, being that we're both pretty paranoid, we tried to not say or do too much I guess. Less said, less chance something wrong is said. Makes sense, but that doesn't make it fun.

So we're back to being relaxed and joking with each other. It's nass to make her laugh a bunch, it makes me feel like, I don't know, useful or something? Productive? That sounds a little cold.

Hey look at me, I'm not a robot after all! And to think, I used to almost take pride in my lack of emotion. Now, I'm emoting like a madman, and I must say, even though at times it can be quite intense, it is a worthwhile experience. I say "I love you" ten times a day, I take her hand almost every time she is beside me, I ask for hugs and kisses and bum touches all the time too. I start to get a little whiny when I don't get them even. Also; not so dead inside. Almost always a good thing. ;)

Please note; by emoting, I do not mean to affiliate myself with the 'emo' movement, or whatever it is if it isn't a movement. A cultural phenomenon maybe? A trend? Anyway, no crying for me, just headaches and stomach maladies, and a particularly painful form of vasocongestion. Alright, so I'm ranting a bit now, but it's sort of enjoyable, so I'll just sort of keep writing, and see what comes up.

I've been almost goofy since we straightened things out, maybe even a little before then. Has it been since we got our pot? Maybe a little before that even. Was it getting paid that eased my mind? Hard to say. Anyway, I've been almost like a stoner stereotype or something, just grinning dumbly and laughing a lot and joking around. Mayhap, I've shifted my overall mood to the positive.

As I recall reading, we all are basically bipolar, it's just a matter of degrees. What I mean by overall mood-shift, is moving from the generally negative to generally positive mood. Just how positive or negative a mood you are in is what separates 'regular' people from those with a bipolar mood disorder, formerly known as manic depression.

So I guess, in somewhat more familiar terms, I may have shifted from a generally depressive to a generally manic state-of-mind. Manic as in mania, and maniacal. 8>

Fun fun!

Actually, more accurate for me would be a shift from generally being anxious, to generally being easily excited and distractable. Almost like a light stimulant high, or even a tiny bit of mdma. I feel all talkative and energetic. I lost track of my nail clipper at some point, usually I'm quite good at remembering where I put things and that sort of thing. Thing, thing thing...

Also, I've been parroting things, like that just now. I'll hear things and repeat them right back, sometimes without even noticing myself. I might be a bit annoying to be around as of late, but I back off when asked, at least for a minute or two. Then I forget what I was doing and my hands instinctively do what they do and touch whatever is around me, which may or may not be annoying, depending on one's tastes at any given moment.

I've got some things I should do after work. Go de-pawn my guitar, pick up m'lady's prescription, maybe do some groceries. We would both enjoy a new DVD box set I believe, perhaps we will look into that later. I wouldn't mind getting some beer as well. I am again, outer monologue, just thinking 'aloud'. Gee, all this blogging sure passes the time, almost 6, when I can take another break and be left with less than two hours when I come back. I like to try and end my shift with a period of less than two hours of work, so I wait as late as I can to take my break. Well, maybe not as late as I can, sometimes my shift ends early, and if I haven't taken my paid break by then, I won't get it. Bullshit anyway. Why can't I tack a break on the end if I am owed it based on the length of my shift? We even had an incentive where you could leave one shift a half hour early paid, basically what I would be doing if I tack a break on the end. But anyway, that doesn't really matter much.

Getting hungry now. Should I try and eat on my break? It's only 15 minutes, that doesn't give me much time. Especially if I want to make a coffee and smoke some yetis and use the bathroom. Maybe I'll just eat after work then. Off tomorrow, that will be nice. Working six in a row after that, so, better enjoy it.

I guess it'll be 6:15-6:30 for my break now. I'll have even less times when I come back now.

***
6:32, back from my break. I've got quite a list of 'Do Not Calls' to add to my timesheet, so I best get started on that. Thanks for your time, have a good one. May random find you well.
\m/