Venting

What's going on these days?
What's all new and exciting?
What've you been up to?

Well, you see,
I've been changing.

I'm dating this girl now, and things are going quite well.
We've even met each other's parents.

But, I am sort of hung up a bit on some things.
She has lots of friends. Guy friends.
She doesn't seem attracted to them, but at the same time, I can't help but feel threatened.

She talked about her old boyfriend not trusting her, and being mad that she would hang out with this guy that would drive her home from work everyday. She would say, "What, don't you trust me?", to which he must of course reply yes. Thing is though, her ex was right. I was the guy driving her home. We weren't romantically involved at the time, but you better believe the thought was there. On my end at least.

So the thing is this; she has this friend, this guy, that drives her to and from work almost everyday. I even asked the guy if he likes her, and he said yes. I don't know if the lady-friend knows he does though, I felt it would be rude to tell her myself. Also, she might not believe me, which might lead to a fight, her calling me paranoid (and possibly being right), me being upset with her, and her going to spend time with him.

I don't know, she says I should trust her, but I'm scared.

It's like, I have no desire to go and spend time alone with other girls, because I don't even want to tempt fate. But she doesn't seem to feel the same way.

Maybe I'm just paranoid. Again I remind myself; who does she take to bed. Be appreciative. She likes to spend time with you Marc, enjoy that.

But that's another thing; I'm almost afraid to ask her about things sometimes. Like, I don't want to upset her, or learn something I didn't want to know about her, and ruin our relationship. So, do I just keep my mouth shut and enjoy it while it lasts? That seems sort of sad. Just try to smile, don't think too much.

What if that makes me resent her? That's no good...

Lastly, because I've been shy my whole life, I don't have a lot of experience to draw on. In fact, I've already had a number of significant events with her. First repeat sexual partner, first time sober, first time biting on the ass, first real girlfriend even.

She's already done these things, so, am I having more fun?

And what am I to her, average?

Well, I suppose, there is one thing I did that no one else had before. She gets really ticklish after an orgasm, and she said that never happened with anyone else before. Am I doing something well, or something wrong, I don't really know. Lack of experience. Although I will say this, I don't understand why so many guys have a hard time getting their women off. Do a little reading, figure out the biology.

Ahh well, I feel better just having articulated my thoughts like this. Hopefully, we will continue to enjoy each others company for quite some time.

May random find you well.
K O R I T F W