i've got these thoughts
like plots
or dots
-unconnected

i wanna know me

my life drifts further away
every day
and i've nothing to say,
but i'm here so i may.

inarticulate longings
like a glow in my brain
humming your name
is it getting quieter?
am I too late.

FAWK!

the eloquency with which i used to express myself
is ever changing, ever fleeting.
the language i choose,
is more obscure, more personal.
my sense of humour,
seems shut down right now.

i can't talk to others so i write here instead.
i'm afraid of all my brothers and sisters
i'm afraid of starcommand
i'm afraid it's all for naught and if you don't get caught then you hit the jackpot
i hate how easily i am swayed,
how quickly i allow myself to give in to my addictions.
how quickly, and how completely...

i want to roam
i want to live without a home
i want to smoke a different bud in every town
and i wouldn't mind if she was always around...

before i die,
i'll live near the sky
in a shanty on high
wave at planes that go by