"You can't catch a fish if your line ain't in the water"

Working, but not. Downtime we calls it. Paid to surf the net, cut your finger nails, nap, whatever you want, so long as you can hear the phone ring should the system come back up. Almost three hours now, they'll send us home soon.

Although, a lot of us are home. Virtual call center employees. We work off of the center's dialer, but from home. Works out well for us and them. We can smoke at our station, we don't have to worry about a dress code, no clearing the snow out of the driveway, no heating up the car before a smoke break, no supervisor in the same city even.

And for them, well, we have less distractions without a room full of talking people. We are responsible for our own computers, so that's one less worry. And of course, just the reduction in noise level and traffic at the physical center would mean less stress for those at the center. But enough about work.

I've got some hard decisions coming up in the near future I think. Well, only if I want to make them, and I think that I do.

I want to get out of my parents house again. I moved back after my second year at university, thinking I could regroup, figure out what I ought to be taking, and go do it. Either that, or I'd figure out some way to become financially independent without further schooling. So far though, I still don't know what I ought to be doing, and I have no foreseeable means of supporting myself indefinitely. I mean, I could maintain, just get by, pay the rent, by a bunch of cheap food, get used to no cable and no phone, live like a monk basically. Ok, maybe I exaggerate.

But I read once that working for an hourly wage is terrible idea. It of course means that when you aren't actively engaged in work, there will be no money coming in. What I would like is a revenue stream.

If I had money coming in, and I knew I would be able to pay my bills and eat and live somewhat comfortably, and by that I mean, being able to smoke lots of pot and occasionally have a few drinks without having to take money from anywhere else, like food, then I could spend my time actually being creative and producing things of value, rather than working like a drone at the survey factory or looking for better work. I don't know what I would end up with. Could I write a TV show, a movie, a play, a book, a song, a poem or an article? Sure I could, but would it be any good? I don't know, but I'd kind of like to find out.

I am worried though, that I might be successful. There's a curse that goes something like this;
"May you come to the attention of those in power". That's part of the problem with notoriety. The other is that you actually influence people, and have to live with the consequences of that influence.

Now, that may not sound like a big deal, but if you make one joke about drugs that 1 million people hear, and let's say 8 kids go out to try the drug in the joke, to try and better understand it. Then let's say, one of those kids has a bad trip, ends up hospitalized, or is diagnosed with schizophrenia that may have otherwise not manifested. Direct or not, you played a role in that. You helped fuck up that kid. They might never have done that drug if you'd not made everyone around them laugh talking about it.

Uncle Ben knew what he was saying; "With great power, comes great responsibility".

So, basically, I'd like to be a big slacker, and just write a bit here and there to support myself, but I'm concerned that I might end up guilt ridden if successful, or broken if unsuccessful. Because, if I really tried and failed, it would be quite disappointing.

But, if I never try, I could end up worse off still.

I guess it's probably worth risking the potentially horrible guilt to try something. Yeah, I think I'm going to have to think about this some more, but it seems like a good idea. Now, to narrow it down a bit. Focus on a few projects, get them up to snuff, and send them around.

"You can't catch a fish if your line ain't in the water"

Good luck, and may random find you well.
\m/