Integration

I'm having trouble integrating a recent psychedelic experience.
I'm more or less having trouble integrating a number of psychedelic
experiences. My trips seem to have recurring themes. A feeling of
connectedness with 'God'(which can sometimes be quite terrifying),
a feeling of guilt, a feeling of renewal,a feeling of understanding,
a feeling of joy, a feeling of doubt. Biblical images of the fall
from grace and the crucifixion of Jesus to Revelation seem important.
Death and the possibility of a null existence or an undoing of all
seem to be a fear i often have to deal with while tripping. I worry
about my being influenced by forces i do not understand. Is my music
the devil? Is it the drugs? I end up remembering what Bill Hicks(rip)
said about this; "NOTHING, could oppose the will of God!". So what
are these illusions and spirals I saw? I worry it was a distraction
orchestrated by some frightened part of my mind(or worse)that is
trying to prevent my progress. But is that for my own safety?So many
questions, i feel like i shouldn't ask them. Like i don't really want
to know.Are the drugs telling me to stop using before i lose my mind?
Is my body battling the drugs for control of my mind? (good vs. evil?)
Who should i root for? I know, it all sounds like crazy gibberish, but
I don't understand it myself. I had this feeling, like, i felt bad for
the sidewalk, because i could see all the tracks from people walking
and biking on it through the years. Like everything has memory. This
I found to be both sad and comforting.The feeling of connection, it
leads me to think that we are all important, and exist beyond our
physical shells. But, like in the matrix, the problem is choice. The
feeling of being able to choose your unmaking, or to either lead a good
life or fuck it up in a rampage of madness, was quite unsettling. How
would I know if I was making a choice that would ruin my life forever?
Not even just my own life, or even life as we know it. I don't want
to be responsible for the end of the universe. Again, I realize this
sounds insane, but aside from that, it's still considerable. I guess I
should take some time to consider all this jazz while I'm sober. What
will the future hold? Only time will tell. What to do in the meantime?
Try to laugh,enjoy the ride, but be respectful. Shit, I don't know,
maybe i'm losing it.