standstill

it's all wrong
my motivation is lost

"you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking,
racing around, to come up behind you again"

i need something
a goal,
at least a vision of the future
my dreams are incongruous with my reality

where am i going?

a step in any direction takes me further
closer and further
the walls are closing in
too many wasted nights
too much wasted time

i'm waiting on a sign that's just not coming

choose your illusions wisely
they define you

i find solace in a quiet winter night
snow falling, wind biting my face
cold rushing through my bones
i know i'm alive

but i don't know what i'm living for

sleep for the weak(pt.2)

tired
catching up on my sleep
i was feeling oh so weak
now i just feel like a creep

i ran until i fell
living in a darkened well
at the surface, i will yell
fuck you all see you in hell

the sleep recharges
and i remember my dreams
now i've got too much energy
and not a crumb of weed

i can't stand the tv,
it sucks away my soul
i can't go out in public
i'm broke with no control

i go for a walk
and listen to the breeze
i sit and i talk
with the animals and trees

my money is short
and my memory is too
my head is just swimming
i've got nothing to do

sleep is my escape
my dreams are nightmares
i'm the king of the world
and nobody cares

loonybinforme

more more more i say
more smokes more booze
more tokes more food
more life more death
more memories more regrets

gimmie more

i want to eat everything
smoke everything
cut everything into powder
and snort it up my nose

i wanna rub my balls on the face of everyone i see
i want to burn down the buildings with the blissful inside
i want to break my neck and eat through a tube
i want to join the army
i want to go to jail
i want to be committed
i want to be sedated

see a pattern?

fuck everyone else when you can't even help yourself

why save anyone,
so they can feel as empty as you?
why not kill them and sell their shoes

eat their flesh
tastes like beef i bet
right off the bone

losing it
finding nothing
chasing clouds
hiding from shadows

nothing feels right
it's all a distraction
the ships on fire
the sails are gone
we're in a whirlpool
and they want me to go to school?

i'm no fool
i'm a tool

"choice, the problem is choice"

to continue along this winding road
nothing to see, just keep walking
or to leave the path
make my own road

either way a heavy load
empty or risky
expensive or thrifty
avoidant or alone

am i doing this for me?
or is there somewhere i'd rather be.