I feel like I'm living a lie. Am I the calm restrained or the drunk asshole?
I know when I'm having more fun.
I want a bottle of whiskey, and a case of beer.
A gram of cocaine, few hits of speed, bag of grass.
I've got the loathing, now bring the fear.

Shakey shake shaking all the time.
Always on gaurd, ever alert.
Sleep is for the weak.

I don't know how to be myself without risking jail time.
Fuck it, I'm being dramatic.
Go get a bottle of cough syrup
join the numb
have some fun
kill yourself slowly
rather than all at once.