dreamm logg

first, i dreamt i was watching waking life
i think i dreamt that i fell asleep watching it.
then, i woke up
i was in my bed, but the couch that is normally beside me was gone
after adjusting my eyes, i look around the room,
everything was gone, even the tile on the floor.
i look in the next room,
all the half-finished insulation that is normally there was gone,
the washer and dryer are gone
the toilet is gone
the basement is ready to be refinished.
i go upstairs to find out how this could've happened
my dad is particularly snappy with me
how could my basement be so altered while i slept?
the time when i went upstairs was 8:27pm i believe.
then, i woke up again,
i checked, this time the couch IS beside me,
everything looks normal,
i try to shake off the bizarre dream,
i scratch my stomach and realize i have a bug bite
upon further inspection, it seems i have a number of them,
in fact, my entire left side is borken out in hives
i put on a shirt and head upstairs,
maybe if i ignore this terrible rash, it'll go away i think
probably slept funny, that's all.
when i get upstairs, my mom is putting lotion on her hands
i mention that i woke up all hivey
i show her my stomach, which now looks quite remarkably bad
it's as though my skin is burning off, or i am decomposing,
my mom touches a very large 'wound' which hurts,
i'm not sure if i could feel that it hurt, or if i could see the damage she had done.
then, i woke up
this time, i really woke up
i realized i hadn't actually been watching waking life, but that this dream series
ressembled a very central theme to the movie.
that life is but a dream and we are already dead.
i was a little distressed, but so far, nothing frightful has occurred.
i knew more details about why my dad was snappy and what my family was saying right after i woke up, but i think i was still dreaming too. ugh, weird stuff.

am i the blur?
or the blurred.
my mind rolls like a washing machine.
Should i be ashamed of myself?
It's hard to say.
Maybe i will be the next Stoney Tony.
Gotta watch out for that.

Keep it together,
You're falling apart.
Your face is a window,
into your heart.

Turn up the smoke

where are you goin'?
you don't even know
you feel like a liar
and it's starting to show.

strange

"and may i present to you the basilisk?"
strange memories floating around the surface of my mind.
seemingly synchronous subtle sights strangely strike small smiles saving some
my organs!
written for me, plain to see... plain to see... plain to see.... plane to sea...
the bear was there
in the dream, i saw her face, but out of place,
i woke up exhausted,
the various paces of my life are funny
parts of me seem at a virtual standstill
and parts of me seem to be well ahead of the rest
parts of me are still hidden
but if they're my parts, then i'm hiding them
so, i'll have to trust that i know what i'm doing
ha ha ha!
your starting to question me now!
to read to bleed to breed to need
to will to fill to spill to kill
your fed your bed your head your dead
you kneel you squeal you feel you deal
to touch to clutch too much too much!
what is real....


...do i want to know?



how many times have i learned and died?
how many times have i seen and cried?
how many times have i even tried?
how many times did i give up and hide?

repeat repeat
twice twice twice
living in the desert, wouldn't it be nice.
the meanings gone, i continue on,
hope in retrospect to see,
what's become of me.

back to work,
fuckin' jerk
blurtyasshole
eat shit
strange memories, like i stated