Sober nap dream that I forgot initially

I remembered a dream that came before that one, or maybe it was part of the same dream. I was with her for this one too, I think. There were people that looked really out of it, and I remember asking one what they were on he said 'mescaline', and I knew he meant the pcp dust that is sold as mescaline locally.

I remember a feeling of dread, or I guess, feeling sick to my stomach as I walked through these individuals. They seemed a grim reminder of what I once was and could be again. I remember a dangerous looking rig hanging in the air. It was full of plugs, some kind of suspended electrical outlet. I had a flash when looking at it of someone being badly electrocuted there while trying to plug something in, or fix a loose plug. But, I also knew, that that was what I now must do.

I reached up to right the plug, unsure if I would be alive in 10 seconds or not, and woke up.

***

This dream, along with the other chinatown dream, both have me in unpleasant environments, but with someone whose company I enjoy. Although, in the second dream(the first I wrote about), we did part ways, which seemed a mistake, as I was trying to get back at the end of the dream. Seems fairly obvious what it means now.

Sober Nap Dreams

I've run out of marijuana. That hasn't happened for months. I just took an afternoon nap, I was dreaming about Chinatown in Vancouver. I had traveled west for a day trip from somewhere in Alberta. We(me and the lady) were walking around for a while, we seemed to be near a sort of marketplace. We went for a walk, about two blocks out in a straight line. The crowd thinned almost immediately, and it looked more like a warehouse or industrial district. I guess we were following a friend of hers that we had come to visit to their place.

While we were there, she became quite distracted. Maybe we were getting a place to stay for a while, and she was taking a nap. For some reason anyway, I decided to try and get back to the market. I can't remember if I lost something, or if I had seen something interesting, or if I just didn't like where I was. When I had walked about a block and a half, I could see the market, I thought; how will I find my way back? I won't be able to remember what shop to walk behind for two blocks. Then I thought; what if someone wanted me to leave her alone. I turned around and started to quickly head back to where she was. I woke up then.

I had a sort of feeling of dread when I got up, though, I don't know if that was the dream, or because I have to work soon. I've never been much of a precog though, so, I probably shouldn't worry about the literal situation in the dream. But what of the meaning? Am I too much of a loner? Am I lost in an almost foreign land? Should I just stick with the lady, make sure she's not in any danger?

We'll see I guess. Well, I will see, and I'll let you know what I saw.
K O R I T F W
\m/

Work...

Checking my stats at work a lot lately.
Seeing how I compare against the others.
Sometimes, I have an off round.
Sometimes, I'm cock of the walk.
And, of course, I prefer to be above the daily average.
Thinking about this, I realized that we have been steadily increasing our productivity without a similar increase in our pay.

Today saw the introduction of a new item, the 'project stars'.
The top three performers in each project are dubbed the stars for the day.
What does the mean exactly? They type out your first name instead of just your employee number. No bonus, not even a ballot entering you into a draw for a bonus.

So why do we care? Why does this bullshit work?

I don't know, vanity? Is that it? We want to be recognized? If that's all it is, I'm sure we'll wise up quickly. It's hardly recognition at all. I'm sure people will stop even checking the stat emails. Well, I guess I'm sure I will. I'm pretty sure that I will anyway...

Oh fuck, I want to crush my coworkers. I want the best stats in everything I dial.
But why? That will get me nowhere but stuck on the phones. I would much prefer a job without a headset I think. Monitoring calls, verifying data, troubleshooting addresses, any of that should be better. But would it really be any better? I'd still have to listen to calls all the time.

Maybe it is time to seriously consider getting another job. Either in addition to, or instead of my current job. The thing is this though; most of the jobs I've had have sucked. They all had bullshit to deal with. All of them. Not one excluded. That's why I ended up leaving them, too much bullshit. Rules for the sake of rules, policies that serve no purpose, blatant lies told to keep you producing, double standards, office politics, et cetera.

So, I'm afraid to leave my job, because I see no ideal alternative. If every job I've ever had sucked, why even bother? Just stick with the shit I'm in, at least I'm getting used to the smell.

That's grim. Grimy too. But mostly grim.

So what's the solution? What's the answer? Create a new industry that is fun to work in? Marijuana farming perhaps? Growing and clipping. Drying and processing. Packing and distributing. That's an industry I'd like to be a part of.

Maybe it's me though. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I expect too much from people.

Still, that's not an answer. Can I just expect less, by will alone? Can I do that?

Maybe the awareness of the problem will aid me in fixing it.

Well, in the meantime, have a good shift. Don't work too hard. May random find you well.
\m/