pressure release

Imagine an older version of yourself came from the future. Came back through time, to keep you from ending up as he did. He provides his lifetime of experience and knowledge at no cost to you, so that you might avoid the problems the future you faced. You might benefit from his experience, knowing beforehand about key events in history, and how to benefit from them. Suppose he was stuck in the past. He had nothing to do, but to hang out with you, making sure you got the point.

He'd drill you again and again, thinking he's doing you a great service. He'd train you to face the challenges that he knew lie ahead. You should be the best you that you could be. You'd know all the bad things you did, the regrettable things, and how to avoid them.

But the truth is this; once you made a single choice differently from the future you, perhaps even at the appearance of the future you, the knowledge the future you had is no longer valid. While major information may still be pertinent, the details of your life would inevitably be different, from the moment of intervention. The future you could offer only basic advice on how to conduct yourself. Any specific details, about people and situations you're yet to encounter, would be based upon your conduct and behaviour. Knowing, or at least having an idea about the future, would undoubtedly change your behaviour.

So, looking into the future, any real distance, is probably pointless.

***

(11:11pm)So my brother just informed me that word on the street is I'm gay. I show up at a bar with a lady, spend time with her, and people say I'm gay. When I was alone for a long time, no one said shit. Weird. I laughed though, I know what I like.

***

You could encode your predictions. Like old Nostradamus. Not the same though. Unless he too was visited by a future version of himself. One that spoke in code.

Fuck that; his predictions are so vague, you can apply them too easily to current events.

Basically what I'm saying is this; trying to predict the future, beyond a certain distance(say three days) is almost pointless.

I know, you could say 'Microsoft' to someone that could invest in it when it was cheap if you could travel through time, but would that really change your life? Time travel is so full of paradoxes, it's hardly worth exploring.



I'm fairly inebriated now. Courtesy of Tennessee. The sugar maple charcoal filtration process has me sold. I feel pretty confident now, but I wonder if I'll feel bad tomorrow. Fuck, those that are talking shit about me are certainly not close friends. What do I care what they think?

It's now 11:41pm and I'm feeling a little anxious. Everyone is still awake, and I am getting rapidly drunker. I don't want to rant at my family members, so I hope they go to bed soon. I probably work tomorrow(don't know for sure until tomorrow), so I should go to bed reasonably soon. But, as I once read, if one sleeps because of an alcohol buzz, when the buzz wears off, one wakes up. I have found this to be true in my own experience. And being that I don't want to wake up at 7 or earlier, and then try and sleep until work, I will try to stay up for a while longer.

11:46 now, I'm nodding off at the computer. The last drink I mixed must have been pretty strong. I did notice the pint was rather low that last drink I mixed, so, it isn't entirely surprising that I should feel drunk.

I best wrap this up now, as I'm more concerned with my buzz than my happenings. Have a good one, may random find you well.
\m/

stream of thought from the loner stoner

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.
I heard that line in a song today, on SNL, the Killers were the musical guest.
Reminded me of 'Other Side' by Aerosmith.
With the line;

"Lovin' you has got to be,
like the devil and the deep blue sea"

In the killers song, the line comes after something about crossing over.
Cross over, to where, the other side perhaps? With the devil and the deep blue sea? I'm not sure about that jazz. But the rest of the killers song reminds me of my current mental afflictions. Spaceman is the name.

***

Modest Mouse Float On is awesome. The video is so fitting. We'll all float on alright, be the end of the line is always the same.

Dashboard "Well it woulda been coulda been worse than you would ever know". So true. Hopefully about the 'than you will ever know' part. Oh the dashboard melted but we still had the radio!

A pang of sadness. She used to like when I would sing for her, even type-singing.

I'm thinking now about the band Cake, the album Comfort Eagle, the drug LSD. We had some good times, me acid and cake. "His cigarette is burning, but he never seems to ash (ash)".

They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I'd say they are two sides of the same coin. There is a certain knowledge that can tear you apart in ways you may never have imagined, perhaps the inspiration for the writings on hell and the inferno. But this knowledge too, can lift you up to the height of a god. But isn't being a god hellish? The balance of knowledge and power is one side of the coin. The unrestrained use of power without knowledge and reason is the other.

Primus now.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEE, uh-EEEEE-eeeee-EEEEeuuh"

Tool now.
Not much thinking going on now. Just things like "Do I have a Valium lying around somewhere?" Took two Benadryl a few minutes ago. I feel bad, as it had been about two weeks since I had taken any. But, I also realize the one night in two weeks is better than missing probably 5 nights in 6 or 8 months. Still though, I should continue to curb my habits. I hate using sayings I don't fully understand, so I had to look up the definition of curb. That's better.

46 & 2
Such a good song.

Now the salival version of pushit, well, live slow version to be more accurate.

I was wondering today if imprecision doesn't often give rise to accidental discoveries. Serendipity I believe is the one word term. Like, "hey, that scribble kinda looks like an awesome rhino", or something similar.

The connectedness of all things weighs heavy. Guilt at the thought of stealing from another before the act, makes it difficult to even carry out. Makes you a better person though. At times, it must be dimmed. I think perhaps that's what alcohol does; brings my thoughts more to a focus on temporal matters. Put me here and now. At least for a while. I have a hard time regulating my intoxication level with alcohol. I seem to always want more. I can't even remember the last time I felt too drunk. But I guess that's a good thing. I anticipate thirst, and buy accordingly.

The benadryl is coming on now. Do I stay up and buzz harder, or sleep now while I'm drowsy? I think I'll try and sleep. Saves biting my tongue. May random find you well. \m/