Rant while you work

I feel like writing, but I don't know what to write about. I guess really, I feel more like reading. I'm working again, this makes it nine days straight, so I can't really read a book. The websites I frequent for short reads, Fmylife and text from last night, are updated too slowly for my current work-binge. I have read the whole sites I believe. Every text, every fmylife. I stop by givesmehope now and then, but it just doesn't hold my interest like fmylife or text from last night. Does it make me a bad person to prefer reading about life's little fuck ups over life's unexpected good fortunes?

I wonder what the psychology grad students are theorizing about fmylife as a cultural phenomenon. What kind of indicator is it? I know I have started hearing about world events from txt from last night. For real; I heard about the VMAs (sort of) through tfln, and even Patrick Swayze's death, and Kanye's outburst at said award show. This may not be the most important news of the day, but still, it's where I heard it first. Mind you, I don't have cable, so I don't get much information from the tv anymore, but certainly i am not alone. My generation, that refuses to pay for music, is likely switching more and more to streaming and downloading their television programs rather than enduring the commercials and volume changes and censoring so annoyingly present on network television.

What was I going to say? I though I had an idea worth sharing, but I can't seem to recall what it was. Dang work, always getting in the way of my slacking off! The calls, they just never stop. One after the other, I must be dreaming about ringing phones these days.

It will be nice to work in the health sector as opposed to the market research/phone jockey crap I do now. Don't get me wrong, it's better than some work, but it's hard to do more than get by doing this. I can't imagine trying to raise a family on my wage.

Talking to people on the phones, asking how many hours per week people are working, I've come to notice that people work too much. 60 hours, 80 hours or even 100 hours a week spent working is more and more often the norm. It's like we're working so much we hardly have time to enjoy our lives. We spend money for convenience, because we've got work to do and things to take care of before that, and only so many hours in a day, let alone business hours. So we buy what's close, what's easy, and we pay out the ass for it. Then we work more, to try and get ahead, but now we can't make the grocery store, so we have to buy our food at whatever store is open after 1am. So, now we're dealing with less selection, buying food we don't really want, so we can work more shifts we don't want to, at our job we don't really like, so we can pay our bills, so we don't get kicked out of our shitty apartments or lose our crappy cars. Our health suffers as we don't eat well and we lose sleep trying to get ahead. This costs us more money, as we lose time from work and need medications. So we work more to make up, which means less relaxing, less sleep, and less quality time with loved ones. Our health suffers, mentally and physically.

Anyway, no one wants to hear someone else complain about work. Things are pretty good in a lot of other ways, just the whole monetary system kind of gets me down. You know, how it's designed to create inflation and scarcity to increase profits forever, to benefit those with power and at the cost of those without. But, what are you going to do, move off the grid? Live in a shack in the woods? Come on, you know you want sneakers and goretex and teflon and penicillin, you can't just up and quit, right?

...Right?

It's always something

Well, things are pretty good in my opinion.
Money could be better, but it could always be better.
Health is pretty good.
I've got a broken tooth, but it doesn't hurt yet.
Mysterious chin/neck bump, but that hasn't gotten any worse in a long time, so no worries there. Ears are healing up alright. Nose has been a little troublesome, but probably just dry weather and seasonal allergies.

I had the year off last year allergy-wise. For the last ten years or so, I had been noticing a springtime flare-up of runny noses, itchy watery eyes, and sore throats and coughing. One time, I was driving, my eyes watered so bad, I had to pull over. So, generally, around this time of year, I would buy some sudafed or sinutab, or some other stimulant containing product to ease myself through this tough time. Last year however, I found this to be unnecessary.

Perhaps my use (at the time) of snort drugs(stimulants usually) had weakened my immune system, or given it a real threat to target, as opposed to pollen and dust. Was it my use of drugs, that lead to my easy-going allergy-season? Was it my easy season last year, that brought about this year's nose-assault?

My nose started to hurt, I figured because of the heaters and dryness. I blew a little bit of blood, usually in the morning, and once when I coughed really hard, my nose bled a little, but nothing serious. I used to get serious nose-bleeds when I was a kid, but that all stopped around the end of high school or so. Right around the time I started using nose-drugs? No, that couldn't be the case...

But anyway, my nose hurt quite a bit, and I was pretty crusted up in the mornings. But then, my nose started to run a lot, and I've been getting headaches, usually sinus oriented. So, basically, the allergies are back, and making up for lost time. My nose feels raw on the inside. Normally, the kleenex would have torn my nose up by now, but my girlfriend buys the good stuff with lotion in it. Just don't use it to wipe your eye.

But yeah, that's what I've got. My computer was down, I missed a few shifts. It was in a scary rebooting loop, it wouldn't even boot in safe mode. Anyway, we went to Bathurst for the weekend, and I got my recovery cds and XP, and I reinstalled, and presto, back in action. I didn't have to format or anything, but it was still a major hassle. I need this computer for work, and it was down for almost a week. Don't let friends check their email when they come over. Just don't.

M'lady is doing alright, a little upset with the parental units, but that's kinda the norm with them. They're not all bad or anything, I mean, they did raise my girlfriend, who I am quite fond of. But, they do seem to push her buttons sometimes. They seem to be somewhat neglectful since her sister had a child. Possibly even when she was just pregnant. But yeah, she's pretty stressed about family stuff, which makes sense.

But overall, I'm pretty happy. Stuff is going well, we often are made to wait for things, which can be hard, but it makes the things we waited for seem all that much better. I'm feeling more positive than I have for quite a while, it's definitely odd, for me anyway. I'm finding it easier to go without marijuana at times.

Well, I'm done work for the night now, and there's things that need to be done. May random find you well. K O R I T F W

stream of thought

Well, it looks like my ear is clearing up nicely. No more hole big enough to smuggle something in. It's still a little pale and weird looking, but definitely on the mend.

Now, a few days ago, I noticed my tonsils were quite swollen. I thought that I had tonsillitis, as I had had tonsillitis before, and it looks the same as what was going on in my throat. I thought it was weird though, that I would develop an infection while already on antibiotics. But then, I figured, maybe they weren't strong enough, or maybe the drainage from my ear moved to my throat or something. Whatever it was, I knew I had to bring it up at my follow up appointment.

As it turns out, my amateur medical opinion was wrong. The Doc, after several hours in a waiting room, took a look at my throat, and said it looks more like mono or strep throat, and he took a throat swab and some blood tests to confirm. He told me they would call me later that night if there was anything to be concerned with. I asked the hematologist how long the tests take. She told me a half hour to fourty-five minutes. So, when I left the hospital at 9:30pm, I figured, if I don't get a call by midnight(the time the doctor that had seen me was off), then I must be good to go.

No call came, so I figured, I guess the Keflex will take care of it as well.

Unfortunately, that was not the case. The next morning, the doctor called to inform me that I was positive for mono. He told me to expect to be sick for about two weeks, and to avoid contact sports for another 8, as the spleen is often enlarged, and at risk of rupturing for about that long.

My girlfriend is sort of avoiding me a bit, to try and not catch the mono. But I mean, I don't hardly know anyone here, and the only people I've shared smokes and drinks with as of late are her and her friends. So, I'm pretty sure she's got it too. I mean, I don't hope that she gets sick, but I miss making out with her already.

It's been a pretty busy and stressful week all-in-all. We had to scramble to get money for rent, I actually pawned my Wii for a day. That was scary. It was almost my guitar. We still ended up short, but we were able to borrow some money to cover us, until payday, which was the next day.

The girlfriend's parents also came down for a visit. That was kind of nice, as they were able to drive us around, and took us out to lunch, but it was quite stressful for her as well. Mayhap her emotions were a tad exaggerated, but that happens when you're stressed and broke and hungry.

So, what now? We're working lots to try and get all caught up, so that we don't have stressful weeks like this past one. At least, that's what I figure. It's not something we have discussed directly. But nobody likes to worry about money.

Well, I'm going to focus on the task at hand, which is work. May random find you well.
-Marc

Don't think about necrotizing fasciitis

Oh my god.
So, I'm off the IV anti-biotics, woohoo!
I don't have to go back to the hospital until thursday to make sure the oral antibiotics are doing their thing. Gave me some gauze and tape and stuff, told me to keep it clean.
Well, I haven't really gotten a look at my ear since it was all swollen. Well, it's basically back to normal size, but it certainly isn't normal.

My ear is all scabby and crusty, and there's this open wound in the back. Like I can see inside my ear lobe. It's fucking disgusting, and what's worse, it doesn't hurt. That freaks me out. Nerve damage? Is there more to come? Is this a travelling infection? Are the antibiotics doing anything, or is it just the major drainage I'm getting at the hospital that's making it feel better?

My dad had MRSA last year, and they are giving me the M that the SA is Resistant to, so, if my infection is methicillin resistant, than this round of treatment won't do much. Not until they break out that vancomycin would I get better. And from what I hear, that can be a pain in itself.

I don't want to get to know the hospital staff because I'm there so often, I want to get my ear cleaned up, so I can walk around without a big gauze ear-cone on. I want to use the phone with my right ear. I want to sleep on my right side without worrying about fucking up my ear or juicing up the pillow.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, NO MORE IV! Woo hoo! I had my first shower in days, and man, it was pretty good, except for the big hole in my ear. I didn't really want to shampoo on account of that. Still, nice to be cleanish.

And I got to Tim Horton's twice today, that was nice. I've hardly had any coffee since moving in with the lady. She doesn't normally keep instant on hand, and we have no wheels of our own for Tim's runs. I guess it makes the coffee I do drink all the more enjoyable.

**An hour or so later**

I have returned to the keyboard. I spoke with my girlfriend, she is anxious to check out my ear, despite my warnings against it. I was right hungry until I checked out my ear. Totally lost my appetite.

I don't think it's flesh-eating or MRSA necessarily, I mean, it does seem to be responding to treatment. I wonder still, if this is headset related. I've been wearing headsets for my various call centre jobs for years. Usually for around 7 hours a day, sometimes 6 days a week. That much time with a headset on can't be good for one's ears. But then again, maybe they did studies that show you can wear headsets for 25 years without any permanent damage done. I haven't done the research to know.

Whatever it is, I'll keep an eye on it, follow the doctor's instructions, and go back to the ER if it gets worse.

Hey, I just realized; I'm totally not thinking about my finances. I was pretty worried about that, but it certainly has taken a back seat, now that I've had a look at my ear. Also; I think we worked some things out, so we should be pretty good to go, if all goes well.

Doing the dishes now. Sort of soothing. I'm all focused on what I'm doing, clean this knife, dry this bowl, it's freeing in a way. Almost like meditation. I will look for this peace of mind whenever I do the dishes. Any repetitive task I guess. I wonder; could I go into a trance for work, and sort of, float through the shift, almost like sleeping? Would I want to if I could? Am i already doing that now?

I hear people outside my window. It is 1:30 on a Saturday night, it's not entirely surprising. There is a university within walking distance, and you know those students and their dangerous fun. I'm already pretty edgy from the whole ear thing...

They seem to have quieted down or moved along. Either works for me. Not in the mood to make friends.

There's things to be done here before I head to bed.
Clean-ups, and calls to make, and such.
May random find you well.
\m/

Earection, Eargina, Earouch

"Please dismantle,
all these phantom limbs.
It's the evidence,
of humans as ornaments humans as ornaments...."
-The Mars Volta

So today I went to the ER in my new city of residence for the first time. It wasn't too bad, waited about 2 hours or so before I got in to see a doctor, another hour after that and I was on my way.
The triage nurse had said, "You should see a doctor". I was a little confused, I mean, I was at the emergency room after all, didn't I already know this? Like, was there a chance I might not see a doctor still? I asked how long it would be, and she told me, "I don't know, but you should wait, because that's not going to go away on it's own". So, yeah, obviously I stuck around.

They took a look, and then moved me to a room with an adjustable table in it. They got me to lie on my side and inject my ear a few times with some anesthetic. It was weird, it felt like they had just poked my abscess, so it would leak, and then left for a while. I guess the anesthetic felt like a liquid moving down my neck. I didn't realize until I woke up not long ago that where my neck had been tense for days, was all numb. I was too focused on the ear job to notice at the time. Hopefully, they'll gimme another shot tomorrow.

So they cleaned out my ear, packed it with some mesh, a procedure I was familiar with, as members of my family have had abscesses in the past. They gave me two pills, and got me to wait a while for them to kick in before they hooked me up to IV antibiotics. The pills boost the serum level of penicillin-class drugs and slows their breakdown. Pretty much only used for bad infections.

When I woke up this morning, or I guess yesterday morning now, I had a sort of burning sensation in my ear, and there was a discolouration near the edge. I wondered what it was that causes cauliflower ear, and how did Van Gogh make out anyway? Then I sort of realized, if I don't get this looked at soon, I could be dealing with a permanent disfigurement, or worse, hearing loss.

Why do I hate the hospital so? When they said I'd need IV antibiotics for three days, at first I thought they meant I'd need to be admitted, and I was not pleased. Just yesterday, I received a verbal warning at work about my missing shifts as of late. I call in and such, and it's been because I was unable to work because I was stranded out of town, or I was too sick to work. In fairness though, I did end up stranded out of town quite a bit. But, as I told work, that shouldn't happen anymore, no travel plans in the near future.

But, I guess I'm feeling better now. My ear has been looked at, and I've got a way in tomorrow and the next day quickly, so they should have me fixed up pretty soon.

Well, I'm making some food now, and reading wikipedia while it cooks, so this is pretty much it.
Sorry for the grossness of the content, but hey, that was my day. Have a good one, may random find you well.
\m/

8 6 2, seven eight, 2 6 3, seven eight nine....

Good tune.

Drinking pretty steadily tonight. I started at about 5. I had to deal with some cell phone company on hold waiting bullshit. Not fun. It was right after I finished my call centre job as well, so, I hung up the phone to go make a half hour call. I should have gotten stoned first.

So, I've been logged into the ole E-Buddy doing an avatar slide show for about a half hour. I don't even know if anyone is watching. But, there may be someone online that I hope is watching. Nothing lewd, I should say. I have no photos of that nature on my computer. Plenty online.

Got iTunes on shuffle. I have good music. A thought occurs to me; should I buy more alcohol tomorrow? I remember now; I am supposed to be acquiring an alternative tomorrow. I hope that works out.

Alcohol is acceptable though. I seem to have had much luck with it as of late. Not too bad in the hangover department, no DUI, not broke. Haven't been vomitous-sick in a little while, a week at least. I even had two drinks earlier and sobered up before I got to the night's REAL drinking. I should probably close the chat, as I'm no longer sober enough to trust my judgement. I'm kinda like the guy in this video right now;



Generally though, I'd say something more like "Let's interface our genitals" or something equally robotic. It usually gets a laugh, but my eyes let her know I'm serious. Sometimes her eyes return the sentiment, sometimes they don't. That's life; can't win 'em all.

Whoa, did I name a post this same thing before? Crazy deja vu. I'm in an infinite mirror hallway. I am so small and insignificant. Dust in the wind, I am a grain of sand...

...snap back. Here I am. Song is over, time to change. Change - Blind Melon, that's what I'll play. Damn, I didn't log off the chat yet. I'm likely to eat my foot. Knowing that, i still can't close it yet. What if I receive a message?

Kyuss time. \m/

I had a weird sensation in my throat earlier. I wonder what corkscrew esophagus feels like. It was unpleasant, whatever it was. Too many cigarettes I figure. Thoughts now turning to the coming days. Will I get that jazz I'm waiting on? Should I go buy more marijuana or alcohol? I should let any readers know, I do in fact have Crohn's disease, a condition which Health Canada recognizes as potentially benefiting from medical marijuana use. Now, the local gastroenterologist said he believes marijuana only benefits the terminally ill, and it is against his personal beliefs to prescribe it otherwise. Meanwhile, I went from seven pills a day to a few puffs a day. So, yes it is still illegal for me, but I could put up a good fight in court. So, I'm probably not worth trying to prosecute, especially considering I know that juries determine guilt not based on law, but based on personal ethics, I think I could convey the difference quite well in court. Like, if someone stole bread to feed their family, yes the stole, but for a good reason. Yes I consume illegal drugs, but they genuinely help me. But that is a post for another day.

\m/Supa Scoopa & Mighty Scoop!\m/